time has never been on my side.
words are never coming out.
feelings are always hurting.
apologies are never enough.
love is lonely...
life is upset.

never...

"Never Gonna Be Alone"

[Verse 1]
Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
Never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
Never gonna be alone!
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

[Verse 2]
And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
Never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

[Verse 3]
Oh!
You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes...

[Verse 4]
Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
Never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day,
I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day.

why cant it be just a game.
why emotions must be added.
why feelings must be entered.
why cant we just play.

haters.
hatred.
the past.
are all pointless.

Everyday I'll dream
Away to a world where
I can be me and not you.
You try to save me from
Myself but if I can't
Even trust myself how
Can I trust you? I'll
Silently beg you to help
Me out just one last time
So I won't hurt myself
And you too. The world
Has betrayed me one
Too many times so now I'm
Drowning in a painful
Memory where they gave
You two shots to the back
Of your head. And so
I'm alone now with
No one but myself, the
Darkness, and this gun in
My hand. Voices whisper to
Me that I'm not anybody
Important and I'm nothing
Worth fighting for. I
Slowly bring my beautiful
But deadly death to
My head and no looking
Back. As my last tainted
Tears fall to their death
I whisper to the wind
Don't cry to me if you
Loved me... You would be
Right here with me. If
You want me... Then come
Find me... Make up your
Fucking mind already.
All that is left to do
Is pull the trigger and
It'll be all over and
I will be nothing more but
A dead memory in the
World's black hole of a
Heart. And we will all be
Dead in the world's heart
One way or another...

credit:

Dead Memories by ~tokiohoteltomkluver

im tired.
wanna rest in peace :X
peace meaning no stress.

yawns.
gotta be study study study for now...
O level should not exist -.-
shoo shoo.

sometimes i wonder,
why have i become like this.
is it the family fault?
the environment fault?
my fault?
or god's fault?

i found no reason to blame myself.
I didn't become this monster for no reason.
"they" turned me into this.
it wasn't my choice.
i was born like this,

being disciplined through violence,
being isolated,
being ignored,
being friendless,
being...left behind.

was all this to make me stronger?
i doubt so..
though i believe,that i'm more independent now then before,
scars don't fade.
these scars turned me into a monster.
a monster that no one understands.

whenever she and he tries to discipline me...
i ask myself..who are you to teach me?
who taught me all these things?

asked me not to speak in vulgar language?
asked me not to be so ill-disciplined?
asked me not to disrespect?
asked me not to leave?

who are you to tell me what to do?
are u fit enough to be my sister?
are u fit enough to be my parent?
think again.
my attitude didn't come from nowhere.

im not trying to blame or push.
just trying to think out loud.
if you hate me,then hate me.
u don't need ur concern.
don't need ur care.
i'm sick of being treated like a little boy.
i am no boy.
so why not you just back off? and leave the fuck away from me.
because your presence disgust me.
ur history disrespected you.

my life ain't yours.
i can handle my life MYSELF.
i don't need stress from you.
i have enough stress.
enough to blow my mind up.
i don't need you.
my life would have been better without this family.


what care and concern they told me...
what bullshit..
what they gave me were scars.

i'm tired...
enough of hurt.
enough of stress.
enough of you people.

i see people praying to the dont exist.
i see people praying to what they believe.
what they believe is what they believe.
but does god really exist?
when u ask this question,you'll think,
how does things form.
the creator. god.
who is the real god?

as we walk on,
we learn.

choosing path is simple
considering is complicated

the stubborn must learn how to be humble
while the humble learns from the stubborn

life is short
live it like its your last

you dont wanna die tomorrow
but i feel like dying now.

look what god has created,
this life he gave
so desperate
so painful
so...lifeless.

he gave me love
to cherish
to learn
but it has never been enough.

life cant be perfect
but is it a sin to be perfectionist?
or issit just another lesson for us to learn

god had complicated my life.

fuck u and ur attitude
fuck ur mood
fuck ur concept
fuck everything about u
shitty clique
shitty friends
shitty people
fuck fuck fuck

all u people know is to talk wussy
keeping all the hate inside u
then telling others next
whY?
no balls to say it straightforward?
u people beat around the bush
then start saying things behind peoples back
seriously fuck u wussies
if got balls just tell the person u hate directly la
why must u guys follow the girls way
keeping things inside
then fuck the person by telling how u feel to others?
does that really works?
does that really solve the problems?
THINK AGAIN.
u will only start hurting people
losing ur friends
and fucking up ur life motherfuckers.

anyway,
who am i to comment?
thats right,im a nobody.
if im a nobody,why are u so concerned with what i say?
fuck u people.
i hate this life.

u little fuckers do know how to get things done
your way through despicable ways
fuck u and your world.

hate derek tan -.-
taking back his words liddat.
wussy -.-
zzz im not ever going for EL SSP again.
zzzz wasted hours of my life there.

yo...
hahah.
been blogging not so often liao.
busy busy busy
or rather...lazy.

school sucks
dun wanna talk about it,

i realised O is getting closer each day.
still feel that im wasting every single day.
well,instead of mourning,
i shall start my revision ^^

bye peeps
prehaps one day when im free?
ill upload all photos at once.
peace out man.

Everywhere I go, bitches always know
That Charlie Scene has got a weenie that he loves to show (bitch)
Everywhere I go, bitches always know
That Charlie Scene has got a weenie that he loves to show

Wake up, grab beer, grab rear, shave beard
Put on some scene gear
Gotta get drunk before my mom wakes up
Break-up with my girlfriend so I can bang sluts
I'm undead, unfed
Been sleeping on bunk beds since ten
So if I don't booze it, I'm gonna lose it
Everybody get to it, do it, get ruined

(Chorus)
Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

When I start drinking
My dick does all my thinking
Hoes want to be scene with me
And I like their big thick titties
D-Cups with extra filling
Take it out let me lick it quickly
Calm down it's just a hickie
I'll blame it on this whisky sipping gets me tipsy
Drink fast and enjoy your buzz
Take back streets to avoid the fuzz
I wanna take you home but your friends won't let ya'
I got a 40 in my Ford Fiesta
Buy beer or pay the rent
My signing bonus was quickly spent
So I'll beat my meat like I'm a fuckin' butcher
And I'll punk the pussy like I'm Ashton Kutcher!

(Chorus)
Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

(Verse 3)
Let's get this party jumpin'
Let's see some 40 chuggin'
I wanna see your booty rubbing
Against my dick when I start buzzin'
Come on girls I wanna see you drinkin'
I wanna see your brain start shrinkin'
Make a move I saw you winkin'
Drunken pussies what I'm thinkin'
I don't give a fuck if you're drunk or not
Turn it up loud and feel the ambiance
Grab 2 ho's and do some body shots
I wanna party all night until they call the cops
Fuck a wristband lets all do a keg stand
I'm like Cheech with out the Chong
Hittin up the beer bong
When the cops show up their gonna get the finger
And i don't give a fuck cause I'm the designated drinker

(Chorus)
Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

Let's get this party started
Let's keep them 40's poppin (what)
So just get buzzed and stay fucked up
We'll keep them panties droppin

Everywhere I go, bitches always know
That Charlie Scene has got a weenie that he loves to show (bitch)
Everywhere I go, bitches always know
That Charlie Scene has got a weenie that he loves to show

You wonder if... he by ~Diesy on deviantART


Wonder by ~lucidreamer20 on deviantART


I miss you. by ~PisikeP2takas on deviantART


Makes me Wonder by ~LittleJean on deviantART


and I wonder... by ~evolutionsky on deviantART


Sometimes I Wonder... by *amhlovemika69 on deviantART

happy singhgapore day to all happy people.
seems to be a casual day today for me.

stayed overnight at cousin house last night.
choinged dragonica :X
im 2nd job le!!! wooo happy happy.

had dinner with mings family.
at muthu curry.
around ferrer park.
nice,spicy,reasonable.

got totally bloated after finishing.
plus the not-so-nice driving of my uncle.
almost wanted to vomit.

PS:it seems that i had never knew anything about my parents nor my aunts and uncles.

Unshaken Love

Tears gather as if they're returning to the night sky
It's only unshaken love that'll scatter like STAR DUST
In the night when we didn't know whether we were alive or not
We were engulfed by the starless night sky
"Don't disappear light" a lost heart seems to cry, I just want to see you
Thinking seriously amongst illusions delusions and dreams, the miracle within us awakens
Don't forget you're not alone, Always WE ARE JUST A DREAMER
TAKE LOVE, GET ALL LOVE, GET BACK LOVE IN OUR HANDS
It's only unshaken love that'll scatter like STAR DUST
I want to experience the world more with you, seems we're sheding a lot of tears huh?
I think there's a meaning somewhere why we're living at the same moment, lets stare at the sky
Someday thinking amongst illusions, delusions and dreams
Impatient love won't be satisfying
Don't hide your true feelings, embrace it. WE ARE JUST A DREAMER
TAKE LOVE, GET ALL LOVE, GET BACK LOVE IN OUR HANDS
Tears gather as if they're returning to the night sky
If you don't try and see, you won't understand you know. RIGHT NOW, WILL BEGIN IT
If some light gathers, WE CAN GO ANYWHERE
Even if we're shaken by sadness in the world, I'll keep your light going
You don't have to promise me or anything, Everyone WE ARE JUST A DREAMER
Thinking seriously amongst illusions delusions and dreams, the miracle within us awakens
Don't forget you're not alone, Always WE ARE JUST A DREAMER
TAKE LOVE, GET ALL LOVE, GET BACK LOVE IN OUR HANDS
It's only unshaken love that'll scatter like STAR DUST
Tonight, whatever kind of tomorrow we dream of, lets go

i learned from the movie haunting in connection,
that whats suppose to be nature should not be disturbed.
some things when not supposed to be known,should not be.

sometimes things are not revealed
somethings arent told
i've got to learn how not to be too emotional..
and be strong enough to overcome all challenges
giving up is just an option
to give in is just a way of compromising?

sometimes im just too stressed
too emotional
too concerned

am i being complacent?

reality sucks
life sucks too

i wanna runaway.

75		days
1812		hours
108721		minutes
6523301		seconds

TO O LEVEL FIRST PAPER.

i asked for Strength
and was given difficulties to make me strong.

i asked for Wisdom
and was given problems to solve.

i asked for Prosperity
and was given a brain and brawn to work.

i asked for Courage
and was given danger to overcome.

i asked for Love
and was given troubled people to help.

i asked for Favors
and was given opportunities.

i received nothing i wanted.
i received everything i needed.

NDP cum sports feista day.

pretty boring.
i was expecting more for the ndp celebration.
in the end,there were only...speech...and speech...and more speech.
end of boring event.

sport feista.
i wasted 7 bucks buying PE shorts for nothing.
nvm that,went hall to cheer for the badminton team.
the team won the first round.
haha all the best for the next.

played a little basketball.
then something suay happened.
i forgot to take my uniform,with my itouch inside...
and the whole thingy was in johns bag.
nvm that,next i left my wallet and handphone in hock zhengs bag.
he went home too -.- without me noticing.
luckily kaiz called him.
went to find him. and claimed.
went farrer park. and claimed.

bye

pretty bad day.

was almost late for school.

had LCB aka lim chee bye screaming at me across the classroom block.

handled physic's test pretty well,
I THINK.

got chased out of math test because mr chua cant
set aside his pride.

screwed up pretty badly in basketball during pe.
quarreled with DX.
shitty.

had some blister when i reached home.
hahaha evil me. im so gonna make someone feel guilty.
dunno walk how long sia just now,AT ORCHARD.




im starting to hate people around me in school.
STARTING.
since this year,i started realising.
those who are pathetic,those who needs attentions,those who cant give up their pride.
seriously why must i make my life so difficult.
i really shouldnt mind about their presence.

shitty life.
shit shit shit
i starting saying shit thanks to jasmine low.

i realised.
life is simple.
we made it complicated.
decisions can be easy.
we made it hard.
choosing a path may be easy.
we made it hard.

sometimes.
we just have to look at the bright side.
look at what we've got.
then look at what we need.

today we hate.
tomorrow we forgive and forget.
then peace will eventually find us.
im gonna start studying tonight.
no more sleepy,no more excuse.
time to wake up. ^^

hate flu
hate sore throat
hate cough
hate everything.

moved all my stress out today.
told MLH about my current life.
she was really caring.
i felt that she was the only few teachers
whom have shown me that theres is actually hope in me.

i hated teachers who cant give mutual respect.
who cant discipline.
who gave up hope on me.

but now.
i doesnt matter anymore.
because its my like.
its what I want.
its my future.

im motivated.
by ms lim
by ms mah.

ill put in effort.
i will.
i promised.

proving to others only attract attentions.
the biggest challenge is to prove to yourself.
its YOUR WORLD not others.
control ur own life.
create ur own path.
live life the way u want.

thats my attitude.
hate it love it fuck it.

letting fate decides your life just shows that u are pathetic and indecisive.
create ur destiny.

if i had a choice.
i would rather die.

ive learnt.
that following guides and advise given by friends...
BLINDLY shows the stupidness of people.
make ur stand.
do what u want.
not what others wants u to.
be yourself.

It's so hard to say that I'm sorry
I'll make everything alright
All these things that I've done
Now what have I become, and where'd I go wrong?
I don't mean to hurt, just to put you first
I won't tell you lies (I'm sorry)
I will stand accused
With my hand on my heart
I'm just trying to say

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me

I know that I can't take
back all of the mistakes
But I will try
Although it's not easy
I know you believe me
Cause I would not lie
Don't believe their lies
Told through jealous eyes
They don't understand (I'm sorry)
I won't break your heart
I won't bring you down
But I will have to say

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me

I'm sorry
It's all that I can say
You mean so much
And I'd fix all that I've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regrets
And you would have the best of me

today.
e special day.
e 2nd of august.
e 2nd month of our relationship.

with alot of quarrels.
alot of lessons.
alot of ups and down.
good times bad times.
been through them.

what lies ahead?

a wider mindmap full of decisions. ^^

LOVE-J-only. ^^

expecting.

music notes running around my ears XD

today was happy.

skipped peer tutor.
yay.
stupid celebration.
waste my time.

went basketballing at leng kee.
few matches. with weisin bk and hock.
taught some kids to play basketball.
hahhahaha.
one of them was a gessian...sec 1. haha.
he looks alien to me.
haha cant expect me to know him. hahahahahaha

went home place basketball court slack.
eugene clique had few round of match with de philipinos.
had a little quarrel.
dun exactly know had happened.

jas and ys came along ^^
jogged to bukit merah mac with them.
slowpokes HAHAHAHA.
had fun.

ate at mac.
together with swee hong.j.ys.

went T net.
taught j how to shoot -.-

went cousin house. ^^