i realised,i've never really understand a girl's thinking.

at the end of the journey,everyone wants to settle down and have a loving wife.

every girl wants to be attached to something.

every badass guy just wanna to have fun.

sometimes i dont even understand my own feelings.

issit lust? issit faith? =/

sometimes i wonder,when i advise those young couples,

to keep going,no matter what,hold on.

then i look back,i've never been a successful one myself,

i always end up in one complete big mess

never understand how my partner feels

i remember myself telling you that you dun understand,

to be honest,i've never understood myself.

sometimes i need someone to hug and hold on to.

sometimes i just wanna be alone and not to be bother

i wonder,do my friends think this way too?

am i such a bothersome person?

in reality,i've never wanted to be alone.

but deep down,i know,that when im alone,

i wont be able to hurt anyone,or myself.

maybe its just this nightmare and these flash backs that keeps coming.

i dont even know what i want anymore.

to grow old?

have family?

support my family?

damn.

its tiring to keep thinking this way.

im sick of being involved in relationship.

maybe 10 years later,ill look back and tell myself,

you stupid retard.

maybe,ill just keep moving forward.

maybe ill get to forget you :)

and hopefully..he is your true happiness.

ciao blogger! :)

yes,ill miss you.i said that too many times before.

this was the life i wished for.
somehow,deep in my heart,
i wanted to be alone :)

i guess,nobody like a too honest person.
being too honest just lures assholes.
thats just how the world spins.
there wont be good without evil.

i remember being framed by them.

those so called friends.

i remember when they needed me,

i was always there.

but they werent there,

when i needed them.

so called friends i needed.

its only been a few days.

seems like my asthma is active once again.
its kinda funny but i actually did saw this coming.
just how long more..?
im really tired.

ijustwannaleavequietly.

finally,the feelings are fading.

one goal i tried to accomplish but failed.seeing your real smiles.

you seem to be the only motivation i had when all else fails

living each day like no tomorow .

living each day without regrets.

i did make a mistake which i regretted alot.

not being totally committed to you.

i didnt have enough guts to show you the real me.

i guess..there is no point regretting now that you're gone.

i should be glad thats all :)

this tattoo will be a mark.

for my love to you.

i dont mind the future or the past anymore.

this is the real me.

well,

NEXT PLAN.

NS.

i hope granny will be alright..

i want to see her smiles again..

beautiful desire

Secret - Maroon 5

Watch the sunrise
Say your goodbyes
Off we go
Some conversation
No contemplation
Hit the road

Car overheats
Jump out of my seat
On the side of the highway baby
Our road is long
Your hold is strong
Please don’t ever let go oh no

I know I don’t know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh no they can’t

Driving fast now
Don’t think I know how to go slow
Where you at now
I feel around
There you are

Cool these engines
Calm these jets
I ask you how hot can it get
And as you wipe of beads of sweat
Slowly you say "i’m not there yet!" 

the tattoo didnt hurt that much.

but your decision did.

child of burning time

I cut my name into my heart still i tear it all apart

I beg you burn me away i won't become your hero just to fight the life i saved

Burn me away i won't give up tommorow just to lose it all today

I burn away...

i guess..the only reason why i hold on to you is because...
i knew i wasnt perfect enough for you.
i always wanted you to be by my side 24/7
i always wanted you to be there
i always wanted...you.
yeah..i know im selfish and stubborn.
well..im still learning.

even if the world ends

,i want be there for you.

thats all i wish.

and all i ask..

i guess...i am developing 2 personalities..idk why but..it just comes and go..the happy and the complete opposite.

i've lost track of time because i had nothing to look forward to..
imissedyousomuch.

falling deeper and deeper as each day passed,
closer and closer to the edge.i felt the pain even more.
its kinda fun anyway :)

hate and love.

i wonder why?
i cant seem to recognise my family anymore.
or rather,they dont really understand me at all.
yeah,i hear them complaining alot.
they say they care alot.
but when i need them,
sorry,my friends were there for me,
not you guys.

feel like im getting closer and closer to you.
yet you are drifting away further and further.

<3 do you know how i feel about you..?
<3 can i know how you feel about me..

I never really feel quite right
I don't know why, all I know is there's something wrong
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive

Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it
I'm following every footstep

Baby on your own you take a conscious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out

I say a lot of things sometimes that don't come out right
And I act like I don't know why
I guess a reaction is all I was looking for

You looked through me, you really knew me like no one has EVER looked before

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out

I know, I know, girl you got something

SHINE (shine it on to me)
Shine down on me (I wanna feel it)
Shine on this life that's burning out

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?

But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me (just show me something)
Shine on this life that's burning out (you give me something that I never
know)

Shine (it gonna kill me if you give something away)
Shine yeaaah (I wanna know what's going in on your mind)
Shine on this life that's burning out 

Eminem - When I'm Gone

just stay happy,and ill be happy.

would you continue staying amazing even when im gone?
dont hesitate no more,i just need another push.
im still waiting for that push.

i hate how much i love you.i cant stand how much i need you.

truth is,you broke my trust when you started trusting him.i never needed you to be by my side 24/7.i just need your trust.thats was all it took.i've never given up on you.but you did.im not trying to find fault but im telling you.in a weird way that i love you.
so....."im not gonna fight for you."

Broken strings

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

When I love you and so untrue

I can't even convince myself

When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, it tears me up

I tried to hold on but it hurts too much

I tried to forgive but it's not enough

To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings

You can't feel anything

That your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse

How can I give anymore

When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, what are we doing?

We are turning into dust

Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire

When there's nothing left to say

It's like chasing the very last train

When it's too late, too late

Oh, it tears me up

I tried to hold on but it hurts too much

I tried to forgive but it's not enough

To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings

You can't feel anything

That your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse

How can I give anymore

When I love you a little less than before?

But we're running through the fire

When there's nothing left to say

It's like chasing the very last train

When we both know it's too late, too late

You can't play our broken strings

You can't feel anything

That your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse

So how can I give anymore

When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

iwishthaticouldsingthissongtoyou.

butiguessyouwouldntunderstandhowifeelforyou.

killing the innocence in me.
building the hate inside.
my brain has stop working.
my sorrow has eaten all within
there's nothing to fill this emptiness.
no one can see the pain i've hate.

i guess...he could give you what i couldnt..
im just not worth...
i told you i couldnt be your friend again because
i knew..things would come to this kind of situation.
u hated me.
i cant hate you..because..you are the one thing i wont ever wanna lose.
i dont think you understand how much you mean to me.
sigh..what can i do except watch.
i guess this is karma.

trying to find the fun part of you.